Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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