You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize