Me too!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize