I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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