I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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