3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
