you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
