Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
