Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
