Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
