Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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