Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
