I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
