i already hear my dad disowning me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
