bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
