He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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