what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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