Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
