i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
