So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
