ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
