i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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