Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
