i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
