last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
