You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
