Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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