Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize