Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Hippo gnu deer
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
