Dual....:-)
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
