she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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