Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize