Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
