The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
