i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
