if only i could text you this smell
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
