belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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