I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
