she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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