i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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