I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
