she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
