Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
