if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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