She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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