Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
