The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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