Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The air taste purple.
Randomize
