i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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