small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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