Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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