wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just gargled with NyQuil
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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