apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
