i jhust puked up my retainher.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize