rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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