i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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