Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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