I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
