Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
