Cold hands, warm shart.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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