Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
