he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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