If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
this boner is exhausting
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
